'We come to strange conclusions in this world: we say that we live in society but at the same time we lead lonely lives. - CARLYLE
Hello and welcome to my blog. This is the first of what I hope will be an ongoing account of how I live, function, and cope with the illness of depression.
It was first diagnosed in 1974 when as a screwed up twenty-year-old, I was living in a rundown terraced house in Rydal Street, Leicester, UK, with no bathroom or heating. My personal life was a mine field. A string of busted relationships and a rapidly decaying home life prompted me to move away from my parents home into the cheapest accommodation I could find.
My GP prescribed antidepressants which were of little use, so along with the brown glass bottle they came in, I threw them into the Grand Union Canal. The twin evils of depression and alcoholism had taken root and locked me into a lowlife existence, for many years to come.
In 1989, I admitted defeat with alcohol, entered the twelve step programme with AA, and I haven't had a drink since.
Depression however has never fully taken flight. It's always there circling overhead and when it lands, it's talons grip me at various strengths. Occasionally it brings me to my knees, so what how do I fight this evil bird of prey?
Over the years the best weapon of defence for me has been to 'write' about it, honestly and with an open mind and I've never stopped. It's not a cure for depression, but it helps in ways I never thought possible.
So from here on in, twice a week on a Monday and Friday, I will for the first time, be sharing my thoughts online. It's my hope that you the reader, will join me on my journey.