Not Being Used.

Several days ago, somebody who over the years has gone out of their way to avoid me, sent me an email asking for a loan of money. I was so taken aback, so angry that I had to take a few moments just to stop myself from flying off the handle. How dare they, I was asking over and over again, after all this time of silence, even think about sending me such a request?.

Two cups of coffee later, the anger subsided, enough that I could sit and discuss the matter with my wife who was equally shocked and disgusted as myself. I have to admit that blocking this person from contacting me ever again, has been a thought I’ve been wrestling with over the last twenty four hours. It may seem a bit of an overreaction, a little sudden perhaps, but self preservation for the depressive is in my opinion, absolutely essential. 

As yet I haven’t done anything but sit heavily on my natural reaction of anger and disappointment. I’ve slept on it,  and will make a decision later. Of late, it has been a period of confrontation with people from my past, some I’ve dealt with, some I haven’t. It’s been a lesson in forgiveness that I’ve had to face head on. Not easy for me unfortunately.